RPS-11

1/3/05: And naturally I couldn't leave dumb enough alone, so I climbed farther into the abyss and came up with two more gestures for this interdimensional complexity of retarded proportions. How the EFF did I make this?

Well, see...I wanted a DEVIL sign, because I heartily enjoy "Rokken with Dokken." I tried to find a spot on one half of the grid that devils could defeat, and then, bravely, pulled reasons why he would be defeated by the things on the other side square out of my buttocks. Why try to evenly divide the matrix out like this, you ask? Well, shoot, Morpheus! Otherwise I'd have to rethink all the other relationships, and when there are precisely 39,916,800 111,400 possible ways (exluding rotations and reflections) of drawing the matrix above and only one correct way to do it, you don't go messing around changing things fer crying out loud! One might argue that you wouldn't even do this crap in the first place, but haven't we already assumed that I don't respond to that kind of logic?

So now we have a DEVIL. A super-being. I needed an almost polar opposite, and decided on WOLF (my hardest-to-make gesture yet!) since it's a more Earthy being, trainable by humans, and not subject to the wayward spiritual crap that devils are all about. A wolf will just bite a devil right on the heiny. Wolves don't care about eternal damnation! All they know is that devils are made of tasty, lightly singed meat. Just go with me here, all right?

Here's how you say all the gestures' relationships in RPS-11:

ROCK POUNDS OUT FIRE, CRUSHES SCISSORS, HUMAN, WOLF & SPONGE.
FIRE MELTS SCISSORS, BURNS PAPER, HUMAN, WOLF & SPONGE.
SCISSORS SWISH THROUGH AIR, CUT PAPER, HUMAN, WOLF & SPONGE.
HUMAN TAMES WOLF, CLEANS WITH SPONGE, WRITES PAPER, BREATHES AIR, DRINKS WATER.
WOLF CHEWS UP SPONGE, & PAPER, BREATHES AIR, DRINKS WATER, BITES DEVIL's HEINY.
SPONGE SOAKS PAPER, USES AIR POCKETS, ABSORBS WATER, CLEANSES DEVIL, CLEANS GUN.
PAPER FANS AIR, COVERS ROCK, FLOATS ON WATER, REBUKES DEVIL, OUTLAWS GUN.
AIR BLOWS OUT FIRE, ERODES ROCK, EVAPORATES WATER, CHOKES DEVIL, TARNISHES GUN.
WATER DROWNS DEVIL, ERODES ROCK, PUTS OUT FIRE, RUSTS SCISSORS & GUN.
DEVIL HURLS ROCK, BREATHS FIRE, IMMUNE TO SCISSORS & GUN, POSSESSES HUMAN.
GUN TARGETS ROCK, FIRES, OUTCLASSES SCISSORS, SHOOTS HUMAN & WOLF.

Each gesture beats out five others, and is beaten by the remaining five.

...skip on ahead to the mental ward now, for RPS-15 still awaits...


Copyright 2005 David C. Lovelace