Boy, oh boy, are you in for a stinky treat.

I've just (5/8/2003) spent way too much time scanning in all kinds of old, useless crap that I can't believe I still have kicking around. The older stuff is all tatty looseleaf pieces of paper, in a big stack, shoved in a crusty, half-shredded portfolio in my attic. These JPG's will carry a distinct, musty smell from that old portfolio. Or maybe it's just the stench of failure.

I'm getting a lot of traffic from Newgrounds.com thanks to some Flash toons I've got there, and most of these people are all high school age kids lauding my talents. Well, don't laud too loud. When I was a teenager, I absolutely sucked the crap right outta the ass. But for some reason, after sucking daily for years on end, I've finally got material people actually want to look at. Now, however, you can look at all the stuff...BEFORE. This palate-polishing pile of garbage will outline my growth as "ze arteest" you now know.

Tread carefully...fragile memories are underfoot. Screw it...tromp all you like, I deserve it. Here's a few random offerings right now, just to get things rolling, for those of you patient enough to scroll down this far. They represent the worst of the worst:

ULTOR
Made in 1984

When I was 14, I had a lot of plastic Japanese robot toys, and this character was a direct copy of one of them. There's dozens of these turds; all Voltron ripoffs with too many touches of Bob+Doug MacKenzie in them. This is the only one I could bear to scan...but it sums up the whole thing well enough.

MIGHTY HAMSTER
Made in 1986

Was this the first "Retarded Animal Baby?" Possibly. Normally he had lightning shooting out his ass, but despite not having that in this episode, I still chose it as a representation of the series because the cage-spaceship made me shoot beer through my nose when I read it this afternoon. I made this whole series in my high school chemistry class, junior year. There were about three kids that absolutely loved this and demanded another episode to be drawn every single day, right there in the class. I got a D- in chemistry as a direct result. Thanks, boys!

Copyright © 1983 - 2017 David C. Lovelace