Car #13: April 1, 2008 - Present
2005 Chevy Corvette

THE IDIOCY NEVER ENDS, EVER (ever)

UPDATE 4/5/2008: I guess in the couple of years since I created this history, I forgot about the whole "unlucky #13" thing when making the decision to splurge on the most ridiculously huge decision-hiccup yet: the end-all, be-all hot rod. I've also clearly forgotten about the whole "I really suck at driving" and "I'm always spending too much money" details also. These consistent patterns of behavior clearly are proven, clockwork-like forces of nature, and I'd be a fool to assume anything will be different now, just because this latest car is the nicest one yet. But, I figured, why not just embrace the stupidity? It is possibly true that you only live once. However, you ARE supposed to at least try to stay alive, also. "What the hell" just ain't a good enough reason to jump out of an airplane while stoned, climb a mountain with no safety gear, or drive a 400-horsepower car to the grocery store. However, because it's Springtime, I'm almost 40 years old, I'm still single, and my mortality is "itchy" because my friends' parents are starting to die off, I traded in my 85,000-mile Murano (no spring chicken, after all) for this 6-liter standard-drive spaceship. It looked perfect, only had about 8,000 miles on it, and its Carfax came up clean. What could possibly be wrong with it? Well, after the papers were signed and the deal was sealed, I noticed the front bumper wasn't quite flush with a headlamp, so I took it to my trusted local mechanic. He put it on the rack and showed me overspray and paint drool on the rocker panel and driver's side door, numerous tiny "fisheyes" in the paint all over the car, and a weird sticker on the wheel well making him think it might have been replaced, especially since it was attached somewhat imperfectly. Mechanically it's 100% sound, but it still seemed obvious at the time that it had nevertheless been through some sort of an "incident." Naturally I was enraged, but the dealer played dumb, telling me that I basically stole that car for $6K less than it was worth, and my Murano was already sold anyway so they could only give me store credit towards an alternate purchase of equal-or-even-more-extravagant magnitude. I was horrified. But hey, this was supposed to be a joyous embracing of stupidity, and I clearly got it. In the days since, my cock-rokkin best friend, also a car enthusiast, looked it over and found nothing indicating it was in an accident. "First of all Dave, the Carfax is clean. Second of all, it's American-made." One last thing. I picked up this car on April Fool's Day, firmly establishing this as the fool's endeavor that it is. I waited until now to post this update, since I figured you all would think I was totally just shitting you about all of this. But I shit you not. I have a Corvette now. DAMAGE INFLICTED: Stay tuned...