Car #13: April 1, 2008 - July, 2010
2005 Chevy Corvette

THE IDIOCY NEVER ENDS, EVER (ever)

UPDATE 4/5/2008: I guess in the couple of years since I created this history, I forgot about the whole "unlucky #13" thing when making the decision to splurge on the most ridiculously huge decision-hiccup yet: the end-all, be-all hot rod. I've also clearly forgotten about the whole "I really suck at driving" and "I'm always spending too much money" details also. These consistent patterns of behavior clearly are proven, clockwork-like forces of nature, and I'd be a fool to assume anything will be different now, just because this latest car is the nicest one yet. But, I figured, why not just embrace the stupidity? It is possibly true that you only live once. However, you ARE supposed to at least try to stay alive, also. "What the hell" just ain't a good enough reason to jump out of an airplane while stoned, climb a mountain with no safety gear, or drive a 400-horsepower car to the grocery store. However, because it's Springtime, I'm almost 40 years old, I'm still single, and my mortality is "itchy" because my friends' parents are starting to die off, I traded in my 85,000-mile Murano (no spring chicken, after all) for this 6-liter standard-drive spaceship. It looked perfect, only had about 8,000 miles on it, and its Carfax came up clean. What could possibly be wrong with it? Not much, luckily. After the papers were signed and the deal was sealed, my mechanic noticed a weird sticker on the wheel well making him think it might have been replaced. Not a big deal, I guess. I picked up this car on April Fool's Day, firmly establishing this as the fool's endeavor that it is!

UPDATE JULY, 2010: I became unemployed in May of 2009, but regardless managed almost a whole year of $666 car payments and $200 car insurance bills - without collecting any government assistance - before finally selling Scarlet II (as she had become known). I managed this in part by opening a Lego brick shop, and also by selling off my third testicle which was becoming kind of a nuisance anyway.

DAMAGE INFLICTED: A mouse died in it during winter storage, but after scrubbing the whole ventilation system the car ended up cleaner than ever!