Car #8: Nov. 1997 (just the one month)
1982 Chevy Camaro Berlinetta

IF THIS CAR'S A-ROKKEN, IT'S JUST THE SUSPENSION

Right after the repo of the ugly green piece of crap, I elected to spend $1000 of my remaining $1600 on this thing (photo is not exact car; I stole it online...but it looks just like mine). It was a bad idea for so many reasons, the biggest of which was that I still owned the Ford van (Car #5), and it was a perfectly good, reliable ride for anyone in my financially straight-jacketed position. But some retards never learn, and I had to have my hot rod. And the punishments proceeded to continue. This car looked OK on the outside, but on the inside it was made entirely of goat cheese. The steering wheel was housed on a broken column, so it wiggled about six inches in either direction. Surely the tiniest of details, I figured, so it did not deter my willingness to spendy-spendy. The total bitch nice lady at motor vehicle inspection did not see this as much of a "tiny detail" as "life-threatening disrepair" so I was directed to take it in to the shop. I was thinking about my remaining $600 at this point, and also about how sick I was of ramen noodles, but plodded onward. While in the shop, the asshole mechanics douchebag assholes at the shop called and told me during a "routine safety inspection" the brake calipers fell apart right in their hands and I can't be allowed to drive the car off the lot without fixing the brakes. "What about the steering column" I asked. "Oh, we didn't even get to that yet." And of course, the brake replacement cost precisely $600. This was the month I stole nickels from my friend's change jar to buy beer. DAMAGE INFLICTED: Mysterious brake caliper discintigration